Friday, May 02, 2008

BIRKHA BETTI! BOOM!

Birkha Betti - IRAQ’s premier stand up comedienne...
Current mood: ignoring apathy

I just flew in from Fallujah and boy am I glad I have arms! No joke!

I am very progressive. I wanted to join the women's movement,
but I decided to quit getting stoned after college.

A soldier tried to rape me: but he just came in his pants and said
"Mission Accomplished."
I thought that was it, but he's been screwing all my friends ever since.
No joke!

How many troops does it take to occupy Iraq?
Apparently ALL of them! No joke!

A soldier said: "your oil or your life!"
I said: "take my oil!" And then he shot me! No joke!

My cousin Ali wanted to be a stand up comic,
but he got his legs blown off! No joke!

How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
No one knows. There's no electricity. No joke!

No, really - I love Iraq. Gas is very cheap there.
Unless you count the bodies! No joke!

I was buying a used car and told the salesman:
"This car looks like a lemon."
He said: "no! it's the bomb!" BOOM!

Three insurgents get into a car. BOOM!

A priest and a rabbi walk into a pub in London. BOOM!

A traveling salesman stopped to talk to a farmer. BOOM!

What do you get when you cross a religious fanatic with C4? BOOM!

Why did the chicken cross the road? BOOM!

Six soldiers were torturing the man i've been married to
since i was eleven years old.
a neighbor said, "aren't you going to call for help?"
i said, "no, six should be able to handle it."

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